Parenting a Toddler
Toddlers are emotional little beings that are sure to push ALL of our buttons. They are needy, reactive, and they really can’t always communicate very well. And how do we respond? Often by being reactive. Our culture often expects toddlers to be capable of behaving like little adults. Words like manipulative and demanding are often used. Our toddlers are starting to learn ways to get their needs met and they don’t always let us know what they need in the most polite of ways. Many times they let us know through tantrums, fibs, hitting, biting, etc. We start to think they have behavioral issues and we wonder where our sweet little one has gone to. How did this tiny being go from resting sweetly in your arms to throwing themself on the floor, screaming and crying? Plus they’re starting to run, climb, sneak, talk back, etc. We find ourselves questioning why we thought the early days were so hard. But the thing is that toddlers are terribly misunderstood little beings. They still crave your love, affection, and attention. They are still the same sweet little babe they were in the not so distant past. Unfortunately we get so many messages that toddlers should be well-behaved, sit nicely, not scream and cry, but guess what?? All of these things are developmentally normal! Generally, there’s not something wrong with our little ones, but there is something wrong with how our society views them.
Toddlers have virtually no emotion regulation skills. They don’t know how to effectively communicate and they certainly don’t understand the high pressure they’re under to behave properly and be polite. We are the co-regulators of our children’s emotions. If we want them to grow up to be calm and regulated, we also need to learn how to regulate our emotions and remain calm in the face of the utter chaos that comes with parenting a little one. If we help them to regulate and have patience as they develop, they will learn to regulate and behave like a functioning member of society!
What we are referring to has been called peaceful parenting, conscious parenting, attachment parenting, untigering, attuned parenting, and many other names. What it is not is permissive parenting. Toddlers still very much need to learn boundaries and what’s okay and what’s not okay. They need us to lead them, to nurture them, and protect them from harm. What they don’t need is for us to be the source of their fear through punitive, authoritarian parenting.
What We Can Help With:
tantrums (no we can’t necessarily make them go away, but we can help you know how to respond)
difficult behavior
strong will
high sensitivity
spirited children
continued bonding and attachment
sensory issues
setting and maintaining limits
connection based discipline