What many people don’t know is that as you get closer and closer to becoming a parent, deeply buried implicit memory starts to wake up. Your unmet needs from your earliest days begin to resurface in new and different ways.
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You can’t un-feel a prior loss.
Pregnancy after loss is different than pregnancy before loss. It can be fraught with anxiety, and sometimes even an impulse to disconnect. And if you’ve experienced multiple losses, these feelings can be even more intense.
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If you’ve experienced a challenging birth and are feeling numb and disconnected or panicky and hyper vigilant, processing your birth story can help tremendously.
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This pattern often starts in childhood: straight A student, star athlete, the lead in the play, or multiple of these things. College looked similar, then you graduated and either went onto get higher degree, climbed the corporate ladder, or became a successful musician. Whatever it is that you put your full effort into has worked out for you.
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Sometimes birth and postpartum aren’t what you expect. Your birth may not have gone as planned. You may have experienced a disregard for your birth plan, violations of your trust and autonomy. Or you may have experienced far more pain than you were expecting.
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