COVID-19 Resources: Pandemic Pals
Right now, we’re all impacted in various ways by COVID-19. One way many of us are affected is through isolation and lack of connection. Connection is one of our core values at Safe Haven Trauma Services because we know the important role it plays in healing. Reflect on the safe people in your life who you might connect with during this time, particularly when you are feeling isolated or anxious.
It can be really important to be mindful of how our interactions with other people make us feel. Pay attention to your feelings following your conversations with them. Do you feel drained or renewed? Invalidated or supported? It’s ok to modify this list as you gain awareness of who in your life is able to help you navigate the stress you may be feeling during this time. One good way to start a conversation with these people is to ask, “Are you in a good place right now for us to talk about how scared I am/stressed out I am/bored I am/etc.?” This communicates to your safe people that you respect their limits for being able to talk about the virus or other stressful topics and might make it feel easier for you to communicate to them when you have reached your own healthy limit for the day. This mutual respect for each others’ self-care needs helps preserve connection.
Stephen Porges has discussed the importance of connecting via phone and video calls, where we can hear someone’s voice and/or see their facial expression. This helps to activate our social engagement system, which leads to a more calm, regulated nervous system when we feel the warmth of another.
Who are your pandemic pals? Who can you lean on during this especially challenging time? At Safe Haven Trauma Services, sometimes we hear people talk about not wanting to burden others with their problems. This seems especially common during this pandemic because we know everyone is having a difficult time. Sometimes we’re all struggling, that’s true, but it doesn’t mean we cannot lean on each other for support. In fact, when we connect with others, we often find that someone can say, “me too!”. We are then able to feel not so alone, which for many is incredibly comforting!
On our Pandemic Plan, we encourage clients to think of three Pandemic Pals. That way, if one person isn’t available or able to support you in the moment, you have other options too! Feel free to check out our Groups page for more info!
Written by Danielle Ryder with contributions from Natalie LeQuang